I was just sitting and feeling all great and grateful and wonderful. The last couple of days I have just been having a downpour of things come to me continuously. I almost cannot keep up.
Just a little while ago I started writing for this book that has been going on for quite a while now. In my hypnotic state, I began drifting…..I had a vision of me as a child feeling really under pressure by everyone. You should do this, be that, something we all receive as children. Feeling so much pressure and so annoyed, I began to feel very stubborn and almost putting an armor as saying “no, I am going to do what I want, leave me alone.” Instead of being encouraged as children we experience the opposite. No on purpose though because this is what we all have learned to do, to not be ourselves, to do and say certain things. That certain words, actions are loving. Then it came to me how silly we all are. How much pressure everyone put’s on everyone else mostly on themselves, but all parents on their children. In the future you will be great, if you do this and that, and have this or that. Success, praise of oneself is always reliant on something external, something that will occur. When you follow a certain profession, have a certain amount of money, get married, have children, travel around the world.
We are conditioned from a young age that we do not already have it, but that it will come in the future. In that we don’t realize we are already that, there is nothing we need to do, accomplish, have to have to feel a sense of worth of success. There is nothing to prove. We are always complete. Our parents forget to just cherish and love their child for as they are right then at that moment. “You are wonderful great now just the way you are.” We forget the moment, and we make everything in the future. This is the society and world we live in. we all do it to each other, to every human being. To our friends, family, lovers, by standers, e are filled with opinions on how the other should be.
Loving ourselves becomes something in the future when we have attained something. How about right now? Are we all not amazing just the way we are? We are insane, this world is insane and hilarious I feel sometimes. We are never satisfied because of this. Satisfaction is being who you are right now. Those who do not see that or like that are not the correct people to be around you at this moment in time. They are not bad or good they are just not correct to be around you or you for them. For what reason it doesn’t matter. Life guides us. Your body knows.
I remembered at one stage in my life as a child when people would ask me what I would like to be when I grow up. I would say “nothing!” I do not want to be anything!” I remember feeling annoyed. Now I get it why I was saying that and it has me laughing.
We all have so much pressure placed on us as children by society to do this, or that, be good in school, go to university, get married blablabla….that this pressure actually blocks us from ever being satisfied and truly attaining that which we want. We become so afraid of failure, because there is so much that is expected of us, I mean really think about it. Being ourselves is the last thing that is encouraged. People think they are encouraging the other but they are not, they are not encouraging them to see what a gift they are just as they are. They are suggesting that success and their worth is dependent if they do something, act a certain way, or be a certain way. This hinders people’s true essence and beauty from shinning upon the world. We are too busy trying to attain and do those things “that are considered the great successful things” that we can never do that which truly fuels our soul. That unique beautiful talent we have that could share with the world and transform it.
We have so many opinions, expectations judgments of ourselves on what is correct or not correct, so how could we ever be satisfied with ourselves, our work, our life, others or the world? “It should be this way or that way.” Hahahahaha…there is no this way or that way. There are many ways, many paths, many roads, many ways of seeing, doing and we all have our own unique way to share with the world.
I saw myself as me now going back and hugging that stubborn self that was saying because you are telling me to do it I am not!” (hahaha…) and I gave her the acceptance that she desired, just the way she is. And what came to me is we live in a world that is like this, very silly and feeling always the need to do something to prove themselves. This is the way the world is like right now but it matters not at all. It really doesn’t matter one bit. I will be that for myself. Nurture, love, accept myself just the way I am. No matter what my choices are, with no expectations, conclusions, or judgments.
Life is beautiful, you are beautiful.